History, Meaning, Origin, and Stages of love

History of love

During evolution, apes began developing the ability to become emotionally attached to each other, an emotional attachment which would later be referred to as love.  Humans evolved through the ability to be attached to one another, the ability to love each other, as this is a trait that helped them to survive.  Slowly, humans grew the ability to bond emotionally, in families and communities, whereby they became inclined to cooperate with each other in groups.  The communities and families that the early humans had become more effective than anything else, and humanity later dominated the planet based on love and oneness.

From then on, humans started being loyal and affectionate to the people that showed them loyalty and affection, to a point where one would get hurt because of another.  Love is what brought the early people together, and lack of it encouraged more drift and division.  Plato, an ancient Greek philosopher, stated that the most important form of love, was far from romantic love, and it was instead brotherly love.  This was good reasoning from Plato since passion and sexual involvement made people do ridiculous things that later led them into regrets and heartbreaks.

In most human history, romantic love was considered a malady, based on the poor decisions that people tended to make while in love.  People were warned against passionate love, as well as the negative consequences that it would bring about and ruin everything.  Feelings in the ancient world did not matter a lot in marriage, as there was no tolerance for risky romantic behaviors.  The only kind of love love that was recognized in the early days was agape and familial love, and even in marriage, passionate love was not recognized, since marriage was only meant for making babies.

The industrial age changed things, and after people began working in the cities and factories, they could fend for themselves and stop relying on their parents for support. They were able to make money, and independent families and enlightenment about rights and freedoms led them to do whatever they thought was right.  The Victorian age saw the birth of the “happily ever after” ideal, whereby marriage was conducted with meaning and reason, and the romantic love that led to it also gave birth to the other forms of love.  From then on, love has been a major aspect of life, as it is the only feeling that makes people treat others the way they do.

What is love

love is described as a complicated set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that are associated with strong feelings of warmth, protectiveness, affection, and respect for another individual.  Love is also applied in non-human settings, in principles and religious beliefs.  A good example is when a person says that he loves his dog; he loves God, his mother, or his freedom.  This is a topic that has been given a lot of airtime by philosophers, writers, poets, and scientists for many generations.

Some people strongly believe that love is a strong feeling of affection, but others disagree with this meaning. It is often argued that love is the willingness to prioritize another person’s wellbeing over own happiness others describe love as strong feelings of attachment, nee, and affection.  To other, love is a sudden dramatic feeling of attraction and respect, or a fleeting emotion of care, like and emotions.  In another context, love can only be described as a choice to commit to helping, respecting, and caring for other people, such as in charity, marriage, or bringing up children.  Other people combine all the definitions, to achieve one meaning that love is a complex set of emotions towards other people.

Origin of love

Greek mythology has it that there were three human beings, at the beginning, a male who descended from the sun, a female who came from the earth and another one who was both male and female who descended from the moon. The human beings were completely round, with four legs and four arms, and identical faces that faced the opposite sides.  The humans walked in circles just like their parents the planets.

The humans were unruly and powerful, and Zeus plotted to cut them into halves and threatened to cut them into further halves. He, however, split them into two, but afterward, humans longed for their other halves, searched everywhere in the world and when they found their half, they wrapped tightly around each other and didn’t let go.   They began dying of hunger, and Zeus pitied them and moved their genitals to the front so that they could procreate. When humans find their other half, they desire to be whole again, which makes them melt into one another so that their souls can be one again, and share a common fate.

Three stages of love

Lust

The first stage of love is lust, whereby an individual has an uncontrollable liking for another, and this is most commonly known as a crush. Someone likes the way another one walks, talks, looks, or dresses, or even their attitude or personality.  In this stage, there is a basic sex drive which gives a person the motivation to seek a mating partner. People in this stage may be interested in their partners sexually but may not seek to establish a long-lasting relationship with them. Symptoms of this stage may include blushing while talking to the partner, trembling, or experiencing an increased heartbeat.

Attraction/infatuation

The second stage is whereby there is a strong feeling towards the crush, an attraction that seems more like an obsession. In this stage, there is a strong motivation to pursue the potential partner, and this commonly after the crush has also shown interest. The attraction phase brings about an overwhelming fixation to the partner, whereby most of the time is spent stalking their social media. This is a stage where love becomes blind, and the individuals involved only see the positive light of their partners, and overlook their negatives.

Attachment/rejection

Romantic attraction in this stage fades away, and this is when the people involved begin seeing their partners for whom they really are.  If they satisfy the expectations and criteria for a longterm mate, they become more attached, and if they don’t, there is an automatic rejection.  After a rejection, the rejected party may sink into despair, while acceptance leads the two parties to ask questions such as can I spend my entire life with them? Will they be there in times of need? Can I trust them? in case of an affirmative answer, attraction turns into a stable longterm relationship. The levels of craziness fade, but the individuals know that they want to be with each other. This stage motivates the partners to stay together and achieve their parenting obligations.

Conclusion

The feelings of being loved not only affects the human mind but they also lead to a change in their psychology and behavior.  Everyone needs to feel loved, and for the ones who have the ability to reciprocate the feeling, it becomes a double advantage.  There are different types of love, but it is also evident that in all of them, there is the aspect of care, respect and affection, and the feeling that the other person deserves the best.

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