Nonfiction Narrative: Death Contemplation
No matter how people might find life difficult, I have observed that some people fear death. Most people do not want to die early or even lose one of their loved ones. Notably, when one loses those they love, most of them find it hard to accept the occurrence’s reality, significantly making them vulnerable and prone to the associated negative results, such as depression or trauma. Some people find it difficult to contemplate death when it occurs, making them less prepared to face it. Similarly, I have faced difficult episodes throughout my life when I could not contemplate death, which has raised my fear of it and living every day, hoping that it does not occur. Similarly, I also fear losing friends or any person close to me. Therefore, as one may claim, death is inevitable as it happens around everyone’s life. For an in-depth understanding of why some people fail to contemplate death, the discussion narrates my situation in the face of death.
Since my childhood, I have never wished to attend burial services, and I have always refrained from attending any. The reason behind this decision is that when I see people struggle through pain, having lost one of their own, I find myself also traumatized by such occurrences. I recently lost one of my best friends, Tom, with whom we had a good rapport since childhood. The situation did not come well with my mind, as I found it hard to initially believe that he was no more, until the day I had to attend the burial service, contrary to my nature of not attending such events. I seemed to have accepted the situation through the burial until I saw the family members cry over the loss. This touched me as I found myself remembering every good desire that Tom had whished for his family, and seeing them hurt was his last desire. The cry gave me memories as much as I did not want to remember them. Each tear down my chin would remind me of Tom and the good moments we had together.
For days and nights, the episodes of my friend’s death would not abandon my mind. I would think of him everywhere I would go, as that was how fond we were. Besides, I had the most challenging times during the nights, as I could not sleep peacefully due to experiencing bad and traumatizing dreams associated with Tom. Sleeping became hard for me for about one month before reappear randomly on several nights. Sometimes I would find myself siliques and ask, “Am I really normal?” The experiences were traumatizing, far from what I had ever wished for. I realized that I had not contemplated death as I should when my friend had died to accept the reality of the occurrence, which would play a critical role in facing the reality of life. I realized that I had not contemplated my friend’s death to help accept the situation.
According to Cunniff Gilson (70-98), one must make himself vulnerable to develop invulnerability, which is what I needed to overcome my friend’s death. As such, by contemplating death, one develops invulnerability, which helps them overcome traumatizing situations. Like my experience, some people go through many struggles to accept the death of their loved ones. This is because they sometimes do not contemplate death, to face the reality of life. As such, there is an immense need that people must develop vulnerability that results from failure to contemplate death, by accepting the realities of life, or by seeking for someone to speak to, which will help reduce the associated complications.
Cunniff Gilson, Erinn. “Vulnerability and victimization: Rethinking key concepts in feminist discourses on sexual violence.” Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 42.1 (2016): 71-98.
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